


Fake AH Crew Goes To McDonald's

by MadDramaQueen



Series: RT Extra Life 1,337 word fic challenge [13]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fem! Jack, Lads are kids, based on a meme, gavin is 5, jeremy is 7, michael is 8, probably the first meme of 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 19:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13348242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDramaQueen/pseuds/MadDramaQueen
Summary: The AH lads want McDonald's!What happens when they ask each gent to take them?





	Fake AH Crew Goes To McDonald's

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the McDonald's triangle meme of 2018.  
> When the young lads want McDonald's on three separate occasions, what will the gents say about it?

The Lads were out with Jack on a trip to the park. They played tag, pirates, tackle Gavin the sandbox and other fun games. Suddenly, all the playing stopped when Michael said two words.

"I'm hungry," Michael whined. 

"Me, too! Can we eat now? Can we, Jack? Can we?" Gavin ran and pulled on Jack's Hawaiian shirt. "Pwease?"

Jack chuckled and smiled, while sitting on the bench reading a book. She gave Gavin a pat on the head. "Of course we can go eat."

"Yay!! McDonald's!" Jeremy jumped up and down with excitement, running to Jack with Michael.

"Mickey D's! Yay! I want chicken nuggets and french fries and a soda and more french fries-"

"Greedy." Gavin muttered.

" Shut up! I heard that, meanie-poo head!" Michael gave Gavin a push, mockingly.

"Now boys, you do realize we have a fully stocked fridge at home. Our last robbery covered that." Jack said that last part very softly. "Now come with me back to the car so we can go home and get you cleaned up. You're all filthy!" 

"But, Jaaack!" Jeremy whined. 

"March, boys!" Jack pointed to the car.

The lads groaned and sulked their way into Jack's car; 3 sad faces filled the backseats.

"Don't give me those sad faces." Jack adjusted her rear-view mirror.

"But, we wanted McDonald's and you won't give it to us! Stop squirming, Gavin!" Michael complained, helping Gavin put his seatbelt on. His Creeper scarf managed to get stuck somehow. Jeremy put his on with no problems.

Jack sighed as she started the car. "Michael, didn't you have McDonald's a couple days ago? Too much McDonald's is bad for you, y'know. I should ask Ryan to show you guys 'SuperSize Me'" Jack suggested, pulling out of the park parking lot and driving back on the road.

"I don't care! I want McDonald's again!" Michael pouted, arms crossed.

"Me too!" Gavin copied his big brother.

The lads looked out the window to see McDonald's getting closer, and closer, and closer...and then further and further away. The 3 groaned in unison.

"Turn around! We passed it!" Jeremy shouted. "McDonald's is back that way!"

"We're not going to McDonald's. We're going home and I'm going to make dinner for everyone." Jack explained. "And I guess I can also make dessert...if I get my little helpers to help me in the kitchen."

The lads perked up at this.

"Cookies?" Michael asked hopefully.

"Mm-hmm. And I know Gavin likes to lick the spoon, and Jeremy likes to mix the batter. But, I can't do that if we get McDonald's..."

"WE WANT COOKIES! WE WANT COOKIES!" the lads chanted.

Jack smiled and chuckled to herself. Cookies worked every time. Now how to tell the boys she was also putting veggies on their plates?

\----------------------

The Fake AH Lads ran out of the candy shop, laughing and shouting with their pockets and mouths filled with candy.

"HEY! You little thieves better get back here! Come back here with that candy!" the shopkeep yelled, shaking his fist at them. Michael promptly replied with a raised finger of his own as he ran away, which is shocking considering how old Michael was.

The Lads ran into an alley, now trying to catch their breaths.

"Oh, man...that was fun!" Jeremy cheered, going through his bag of stolen candy.

"Gavin almost didn't make it out of here. His big nose got caught in the door." Michael cackled.

"So mean, Micoo! My bag got caught when you slammed the door!" Gavin whined, looking at his ripped bag. "I hope not a lot of candy fell out while we were legging it outta there." 

A few seconds later, they heard a car horn from outside the alley. A jet black car was pulled up to the alley entrance. The front window rolled down and they could see a figure with a fancy tux and moustache at the wheel.

"Hey, kiddos! Get your little asses in the car!"

Turned out to be Geoff Ramsey - leader of the upcoming Fake AH crew, 1 out of 3 caretakers for these previously "lost-in-the-world" kids. 

"Geoffrey!" Gavin smiled as he and the others ran to Geoff's car with their candy. They all piled into the backseat and Geoff drove off.

"Geoff! How'd you know we were here?" Jeremy asked, putting a lollipop in his mouth.

"It's my job to know where you little rascals are! Can't have you guys getting into a lot of trouble, can I?" Geoff smiled. "By the way, what were you doing in an alley?"

"We went to a candy store!" Gavin smiled.

"But, didn't you guys already spend your allowance money?" 

"Uhhh, yeah?"

"Yep. Uh, we did." Michael agreed.

Silence.

Geoff scratched his beard, and turned to the lads as they pulled up to a stop light. "So, you went to a candy store and you have bags of candy, but you don't have any money?" 

More silence.

"And that means you stole it. You stole candy." 

"...sounds about right." Lil J said.

Geoff focused his attention back on driving. He was also silent for a second. Then, he started to laugh. And laugh and laugh...

"Oh, God! That's my boys! Starting early, huh? Proud of ya!"

The lads looked at each other in shock.

"Huh?" Gavin asked in confusion.

"Gavin, we make a living stealing things. The fact that you did it without my help makes me super proud. And you know what that means?"

"Wot?"

"A reward! You get a TRIP TO MCDONALD'S!! Anything you want!" Geoff announced.

"MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!!" The lads cheered and hollered. The candy would have to wait. They were getting the good stuff now.

From eating all that candy, they did go to the dentist, but that's another story.

\----------

Ryan woke up early one morning in the FAHC house. He stretched and grumbled as he walked down the steps and hoped he could make his morning cup of coffee.

Spoiler alert: he couldn't.

"God damn it. Nothing for coffee. I'm gonna end my murder break today." Ryan decided, putting his mask on and stormed outside.

He stopped walking when he heard the pitter-patter of three little lads behind him.

"Rye-bread!!" Gavin jumped into Ryan's arms for a hug. "Where are you going? Can we come?"

"I'm going to McDonald's and no you cannot come." 

"McDonald's for breakfast? Yes! Pancakes, bois!!" Michael cheered.

"Can I have the biscuit?" Jeremy asked.

"N-no. Guys, I'm not getting food. I need my coffee or I'm not going to be a happy person today." 

"Ryan, when are you ever happy? Honestly." Michael questioned.

"I mean...I can be happy. You just don't see it. People have different ways of expressing happiness, you know." Ryan shrugged.

"And murder is your way." Gavin muttered.

"Exactly!" Ryan smiled and walked to his car. He tried to escape the Lads, but to no avail. As soon as the car was unlocked, they ran to their usual spots in the back seat.

Ryan just groaned in annoyance and tossed his mask into the backseat. "Guys, do you know how early in the morning it is? Go back to bed. I'm not getting food!" 

"Yeah, sure, sure... We don't believe you." Jeremy chuckled, reaching to give Ryan a pat on the shoulder.

Ryan shook his head. "You guys are a pain."

"But, we're your pain!" Gavvy giggled.

Ryan said no more and just pulled out of the driveway. There was no way he was gonna convince the little ones the truth, so he just brought them along for the ride. 

He finally drove up to McDonald's and entered the drive-thru.

"Remember our orders, Ryan!" Gavin stage-whispered.

"Already forgotten." He leaned over to the speaker to order. "Hello. One black coffee, please. ........ That's it, thank you." Ryan took off to the next window and looked in the rear view mirror. He looked at the lads, who had very shocked faces.

"Just a coffee? Really?!" Michael exclaimed.

"Wot about us?!" Gavin whined.

"I'll make bacon pancakes at home." Ryan nodded.

Best. Breakfast. EVER.


End file.
